


Hey Girl, It's the End of the Fucking World.

by Short_n_Salty



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: A little gore, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Angst, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I literally don't know how to tag i haven't posted in such a long time, Swearing, Tubbo is a BAMF, ill add more tags as i figure out how posting on ao3 works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Short_n_Salty/pseuds/Short_n_Salty
Summary: Rules of the Apocalypse:1. Stay loyal to your faction and if you don't have one, find one2. Do NOT take your gasmask off unless you're in a predetermined Safe Zone3. Anything in No-Man's-Land is free to anybody4. No-Man's-Land is lawless5. DO NOT TRUST ANYBODY6. Just kidding, there are none :)
Relationships: that would be weirdchamp
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	1. Double Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First posted fic in this fandom! Hope you all enjoy and i'll try to update as consistently as possible. follow my instagram: @discount_cryptid for artwork for this fic and more! if i miss any triggers or content warnings please let me know asap and i will fix it

Tommy readjusted his mask and let out a sigh. He could feel his stomach rumble, a sensation he has become used too, he’s sure Tubbo has too. His feet hurt as they hit the cracked and unkempt pavement. He looked around. Buildings in ruins, vegetation already taking over. The once bustling town was no nothing but a wasteland, but most of the planet was a disaster.

His body felt heavy and his eyes felt like they were going to drop at any second. He could tell his friend felt the same way. His shoulders sagged and his feet dragged, each step seemingly getting slower and slower. They needed to find a place to rest, or at least gather themselves. They needed to find a Safe Zone ASAP.

Tommy was nudged from his thoughts by Tubbo, who tilted his head in a direction. A convenience store that looked untouched sat calling to the both of them. They looked at each other for a second before jogging over to the front. Tubbo tried the front door.

“It’s locked.” he indicated, his voice muffled from the gasmask.

“Step back.” Tommy reached behind him and pulled out his trusty bat, it had nails haphazardly pounded into the tip of it and the handle was wrapped in an old dirty strip of cloth. He readied himself, swinging his arms back and sending the weapon into the glass. It shattered almost instantly, a satisfying cracking noise echoing around them. Tommy and Tubbo paused, listening.

No footsteps, shouts, the sound of bones scraping together, or gurgled moans responded. Tommy cleared the glass from the bottom of the wide window with the tip of his bat and hauled himself inside when he deemed it safe, Tubbo following close behind. Tommy stopped and looked around, bat in hand ready to strike. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Tubbo loading his slingshot with a marble. They would canvas the entire store before letting down their guard, they had been ambushed a few times before, but they were Tommy and Tubbo, the dynamic duo and nothing, absolutely nothing, would stop them from their mission. To find their family.

When they were finished making sure they were safe, they lowered their weapons and checked the shelves. They were looking for anything; food, supplies, medicine, anything they would need.

The shelves were empty, save for a few empty bottles and the occasional broken glass. Tommy huffed in frustration and wondered if Tubbo had found anything good. He raked his gaze against the dirty floor to his scuffed boots. He was so tired. He wanted the mask off his face and he wanted to be with Wilbur, Phil, and Techno. He wanted to hear Wilbur sing some stupid song about women, he wanted to hear Techno’s dry jokes, and he wanted Phil to tell him what to do, he was so lost. He had Tubbo, his partner in crime, his best friend through and through. Tubbo was also home to him. He smiled at the thought and then was pulled from his head when he heard Tubbo shout across the way.

“Tommy!” His voice was muffled, it wasn’t panicked but it was a call for him to go to Tubbo. Tubbo held up an object, a little stuffed bee hung from a keychain.  
“A bee!” he exclaimed. Tommy never really understood Tubbo’s fascination with bees, they were creepy and would sting you. But he humored his friend anyway. He walked over, eyes still scanning the shelves as if something would magically appear. When he reached Tubbo, he was clipping the keychain to their shared bag, Tommy had been carrying it for a while so Tubbo insisted that he’d carry it.

“I didn’t find anything, did you?” Tubbo asked, looking up. He swung the bag back around to his back and slipped his other arm in the strap and adjusted himself.

“I didn’t find jack.” Tommy huffed, he saw Tubbo’s shoulders sag a little.

“Who’s Jack?” Tubbo inquired, his head slightly tilting. Tommy stared at him, he couldn’t tell if it was one of Tubbo’s many bad jokes. And he thought that Techno was bad.

There was a beat of silence.

“Tub-,” Tommy was cut off by the sound of glass crunching like it was being stepped on. Tommy and Tubbo tensed as they reached for their respective weapons. Tubbo could hear that whatever it was, it wasn’t trying to be quiet. This told Tubbo it was a Mob or someone very dangerous.

Tubbo’s suspicions were confirmed when he heard a low groan and something being bumped into. He grabbed his slingshot and nodded to Tommy who went to the left of the noise. He knocked a marble in place and pulled back. He held it up to his face and tilted his head so he could make a clean shot. He quietly stepped over old newspapers and broken glass bottles, not making any noise. They didn’t know much about their new world, only how to survive in it.

Tubbo caught a glimpse of rotting flesh through the shelf. He quickened his footsteps and rounded the corner, the zombie’s back to him. He lined up a shot and let go. He had pulled back far enough that the marble cut clean through the zombie’s head. It stood there for a second before collapsing. Tommy came out of his spot yelling, bat in the air, ready to strike.

He stopped when he noticed the threat was already taken care of.

“Goddammit, Tubbo!” Tommy pouted. “I had that one!” Tommy threw his arms out to the side wildly. Tubbo laughed. They had this stupid competition to see who could kill the threat faster, it made killing mobs a little easier. Tubbo watched as black ooze seeped out of the thing’s head. The hair was mostly gone and its face was ripped to shreds. Tubbo nudged it with his yellow sneaker. It was dead-dead.

“Gross.” Tommy commented, scrunching up his face. They luckily couldn’t smell anything through the masks.

“Let’s stick together, yeah?” Tubbo said, looking up from the corpse.  
“Yeah that’s probably best.” Tommy replied. He looked around and thought about what this place might have looked before the Blast. He imagined teenagers coming in and doing normal teenager stuff. He was a little jealous. The bomb had hit when he was 10, he survived on the decency of people. Jumping from group to group he never got close to anybody. He used his scared little boy act to get food and shelter and that’s it. He met Tubbo after he got separated from the people he finally considered family.

They continued to search the store, in the back they did manage to find a few cans of food and an unopened pack of water. Tubbo stuffed as many bottles as he could into the bag on his back, not wanting it to become too heavy for either of them to carry.

Tommy picked up the can and sighed.

“We can’t even eat this, Big T.” He said. “We have to find a Safe Zone. You still have your gadget, right?” Tommy asked as he watched Tubbo pull out a walkie-talkie looking device. They didn’t quite know how Safe Zones worked, just that the little “gadget” Tommy had dubbed it, could detect whether the air was safe enough to breathe.

“Looks like it's out of batteries.” Tubbo huffed, smacking the side of the device. He looked around and paused when he found a pack of batteries on one of the shelves, forgotten. He beelined for it. Batteries were super rare these days so when they came across them they had to sparingly use them. Tommy watched as Tubbo pulled out a pocket knife and cut the casing of the batteries open. Tubbo preferred a slingshot, he had an insane aim and he wasn’t good at close combat like Tommy was. The brunette opened the back of the gadget and dumped out the old batteries onto the floor. He shoved the new ones in and slid the back of the device back in place. The device whirred to life, it beeped loudly and Tubbo jumped and fumbled with it. Tommy let out a snicker. He pressed a button and sweet quiet filled their ears.

Tubbo looked at the meter and frowned.

“We can’t stay here.” Tubbo said. They started to walk to the front of the store. The sun was mostly set and though it gave the duo cover, it was the worst time to be out at night. That's when the Mobs become most active.

Tommy pushed Tubbo slightly, he was busy looking down at the device and fiddling with it, about to run into a shelf.

He had heard rumors about them. That he and Tubbo were ruthless, brutal, and unforgiving. That if you crossed paths with them you were as good as dead. It was partially true, Tommy and Tubbo were a force to be reckoned with, but they would help anybody in need. Tommy would do the talking, they agreed. Tubbo was no good at talking them out of situations or bargaining so he opted to stay quiet. This only reinforced the mystery and rumors of the two. Some rumors said that they were mutated and shared a brain, others said that they were brothers who were born into fighting and forced to be emotionless soldiers for some unknown faction. As far as anyone knew, Tommy wasn’t the missing Pogtopia faction leader’s right hand man and younger brother. And that Tubbo wasn’t a missing Manburg refugee who made his way up the ranks to their leaders side.

They of course told nobody who they were because they might be captured and held for ransom and that would really put a damper on their plans to go back home.

Tommy readjusted his red bandana that hung around his neck and ran a hand through his greasy, unkempt hair. They continued walking, now closer to the ruins of a building. Tommy looked over his shoulder to Tubbo, who he noticed was lagging behind. Tommy couldn’t see his face but could feel the exhaustion coming off of his friend in waves. He thought for a second and stopped walking so he could let Tubbo catch up. Tubbo bumped into him and looked up before he said anything, Tommy turned around and bent his knees.

“I’ll carry you.” He said, his arms ready to catch the other teen.

Tubbo was so tired, the bag on his back weighed him down and he needed rest. He tried to protest but Tommy told him to shut up and just get on.

Tubbo climbed onto the back of the blonde, his feet feeling relieved and his eyes felt heavier. Tommy readjusted himself and took the gadget from Tubbo.

Tommy was slower now but his best friend needed rest and that's what he was going to give him. He was a little heavy on Tommy’s back, he could lift Tubbo any day at full health but he was tired as well.

“Rest. We have a long way to go.” Tommy murmured.


	2. Idiots For Hire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres some OCs in here that definitely aren't based heavily on my friends, nooooo.
> 
> Heres a chapter from Wilbur's POV!
> 
> I have designs drawn for most of the characters, If I can figure out how to add them to a work on AO3 yall will be getting a design chapter. You can however see the designs on my insta: @discount_cryptid

Wilbur paced outside one of the entrances to Pogtopia. His fingers ran through his hair incessantly and his brows furrowed. He was going to give Techno a piece of his mind once the mutated man came up, tear him a new one. He eyed the old subway entrance as he heard the sound of hooves click against the broken tile. 

Soon Techno’s face came into view. Two tusks sticking out from his mouth and his heavily scarred face was nothing new to Wilbur. His brother had been reckless and lost his mask.

“There you are!” Wilbur scolded. He put his hands on his hips. “We are supposed to meet these two in five minutes, what was taking you so long?!” Wilbur leaned forward. 

Techno’s face remained stony and seemingly in a permanent frown. He shrugged. 

“I told you, Wilbur, I didn’t want to come.” His eyebrows knit together in annoyance. He turned around and boarded the subway entrance back up. 

“Well I’m sooooo sorry that I want to find our brother!” Wilbur snapped. He crossed his arms and looked at the mutated man. They began to walk to a nearby park. They were in an old city that once stood proud and tall. It was now left to nothing but rubble and the faint echo of civilization.

Techno’s features softened, he wanted to find Tommy just as bad as Wilbur did but Wilbur was driving himself crazy. The brunette looked like he hadn’t slept in days and for those who knew better, he probably hasn’t. Wilbur hasn’t forgiven himself for losing Tommy, he thinks it was his fault. 

_Phil had trusted him to take care of their makeshift family and their faction. When Schlatt invaded their territory, Wilbur had taken it upon himself to fight along with his people. Tommy and Techno of course at his side. It had happened so quickly, he yanked his machete out of a neck, blood spattered everywhere. He heard Tommy yell. He had whipped around to only see a glimpse of Tommy’s red hoodie as he was dragged away. He pushed through the fighting people, metal clanging against metal, shouts, and screams. Wilbur could hear his heart pound in his head and he couldn’t see Tommy. He was quickly yanked back by his scarf and thrown to the ground. He could feel the air leave his body and spots clouded his vision as his head hit the concrete. He looked up and almost vomited at who he saw._

_Two ram’s horns protruded from the figure’s head and an all too familiar smile was plastered on his face._

_“Hey there, Lover Boy!” He said, lifting a fist in the air. Wilbur was frozen, his usual quick instincts had completely left him._

_Just as quickly, the ram was pummeled off of him by a flash of pink. He saw Techno, his body radiating dangerous energy. Wilbur cursed and held his now bleeding head, he could feel himself fading and he needed to get to Niki but he was also worried about Techno. A new discovery had been made about the mutated man, don’t anger him. He loses a sense of self and goes Beserk. They had noticed this behavior in many of the other mutated._

_Techno could definitely handle himself, Wilbur had thought._

Wilbur was brought back to reality when he was poked by his brother. Techno grunted and pointed at two figures sitting on a bench. The park had looked practically untouched, the only thing that would have indicated that it was abandoned was the overgrown grass and the still fountains filled with algae. The cracking pavement crunched under his boots and he put a hand on his machete that was holstered in a rather well-crafted leather belt made by Niki. He heard talking coming from the two, which hushed when they got closer. 

Wilbur could see as he got closer that they were both shorter than him and Techno. They had plague doctor type gas masks on so Wilbur couldn’t see their faces. 

Wilbur hesitated before speaking. 

“Are you two the Plague Control?” He asked, he gripped his weapon tighter, ready to unsheath it and fight. 

“Maybe.” The shorter of the two stood up. Light curly hair that faded into dark brown then almost black peeked out of the hood around shoulder length. Wilbur was startled by how young she had sounded. A spear that looked like it had been hand-crafted was strapped to her back. 

Techno stepped forward and she snapped her head to look at him. The other person stood, they had blonde straight hair that was also about shoulder length. Their masks matched. 

The blonde put a hand on the taller shoulder and sighed. 

“Yes, we are. I'm Crow,” She gestured to herself and then to the other girl. “And this is Raven.” Raven bowed her head mockingly. 

“I'm sure you already know who we are.” Wilbur waved a hand between him and Techno. 

“We sure do!” Raven exclaimed. “The famed ‘Killbur Soot’ and ‘The Blade’!” 

Wilbur recoiled a little bit. It was a nickname given to them by the general public. People told stories of Wilbur torturing and killing people for information. It was exaggerated, of course, Wilbur did capture and question people, Techno was the one who did the torturing. 

Wilbur was good with a machete though, thanks to his father figure. It was his main weapon of choice, it was much better than the old bass guitar he had been using in the beginning. 

Techno let out a deep chuckle at Raven’s enthusiasm. It reminded him of why they were there. To find Tommy. 

Techno inhaled before speaking, “We have a job for you.” They stared at him, they looked like they were attached at the hip, Techno thought to himself. 

Wilbur piped up after Techno didn’t elaborate. 

“We need you to find somebody.” Wilbur reached into his jacket and pulled out a worn picture that had been folded neatly into a pocket on the inside. He held it up and pointed to a figure standing in the front. 

“Our brother, Tommy, my right-hand man, has been taken. We do not know by who, but we would like you to find out.” Wilbur looked between the two. He couldn’t believe he was putting his trust into the hands of two strangers, let alone 17 year-olds. He has exhausted all his resources and Phil wasn’t there to help. 

“What’s in it for us?” The blonde spoke up, she tilted her head. Wilbur thought for a moment. 

“We can provide food, protection, and any resources you may need to help you find Tommy.” Wilbur thought that was a fair trade. They had plenty of food, plenty of potatoes, much to Techno’s delight. The man had an affinity for the things. 

They looked at each other and for what seemed like a long time nobody said anything. Then the taller one shrugged. 

“Seems fair to us.” She held out her hand for Wilbur to shake, which Wilbur returned. 

“Now, let’s discuss the details of the deal,” Crow said, Raven nodded. 

\---------

Wilbur was tired, he wanted to get back to Pogtopia and rest, or at least handle somethings alone in his office. Techno was by his side, the only sounds were the clacking of Techno’s hooves against the pavement and the ambient wildlife that thrived around them. They were headed back, the two girls were pretty demanding. He had been told by one of his faction members that these two were well known for finding people and did a fantastic job. If this information had come from anybody outside Pogtopia, Wilbur wouldn’t have gone looking for them. 

Although he was sure they were safe at the moment, Wilbur’s senses were always on high alert. Listening and catching movement, constantly surveying his environment. If it wasn’t for this, he wouldn’t have noticed him. The green bastard, Wilbur thought as a man in a green hoodie that was in desperate need of washing and repair approached them. 

The slightly cracked mask that sat on the dirty blonde’s face never seemed to not unnerve Wilbur at least a little bit. The poorly drawn smiley face that was drawn on never seemed to fade either. 

“Hullo Dream,” Techno uttered, reaching for the sword stashed away on his hip. Wilbur did the same and withdrew his machete. 

Dream smiled, only visible due to the fact that he didn’t wear a gas mask. He was mutated, it wasn’t as obvious as Techno, though. In all honesty, Wilbur didn’t know Dream’s deal, when they had first met Wilbur and he had fought over territory. Pogtopia had settled onto land they called L’Manberg, it was Dream’s land.   
The Dream Team, (Wilbur thought it was a little pompous to name your faction after yourself) was not happy. A war broke out over the territory. Eventually, an agreement was made. 

Pogtopia could have a portion of Dream’s land if Pogtopia gave up something valuable. 

Tommy had come forward with music disks. Music disks were rare, so rare in fact that Dream had accepted them and they were free to live in Dream’s Safe Zone. Wilbur had been so proud of Tommy. Tommy had his first drink that day, they didn’t tell Phil. 

That bliss was ruined a few months later when Schlatt and Co. came busting in like they owned the place. This made Wilbur’s blood boil.

Dream spoke calmly, “Woah there,” he put his hands up, he still had that smile on his face. “I come in peace.” Wilbur and Techno lowered their weapons but didn’t put them away. Dream’s trusty ax sat strapped to his back and even when Dream was unarmed he was dangerous. 

“What do you want, Dream?” Techno practically growled. 

“No ‘how are you?’” Dream said, crossing his arms over his chest and fake pouting. 

“Oh please!” Wilbur spat, “you only talk to us when you want something so get on with it.”

“I want that ram off my land.” Now Dream is serious. His cheeky smile had been turned into a thin line across a scarred face. 

“Yeah and? We don’t live there anymore. And that being said, I want Tommy’s disks back.” Wilbur retorted. 

Dream’s expression hardened even more. 

“No. I can’t do that.” Dream shook his head, “If you want them back you have to do what I say. That man and his petty faction are ruining things! At least you didn’t try to expand!” Dream was huffy now. This really pissed him off. 

Wilbur thought and looked at Techno, who seemed to be thinking. Techno’s thing was being a loner and in his words, ‘I don't need no faction! I'm The Blood God!’ 

“How about this,” Wilbur sighed as he calmed himself. “We take care of your… pests and you give the disks back.” 

Dream brought a hand up and touched his chin lightly. His frown seemed to be thinking hard. 

“Deal.” He said and held out a hand. Wilbur hesitated, this was Dream there had to be a catch. Wilbur raised an eyebrow. 

“That was quick, Dream.” Techno pointed out. “You’re not gonna talk to your goons or anything?”

“No. Do we have a deal or not?” Dream’s offer was still there. 

“Deal.” Wilbur grabbed his hand tightly and shook it. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all enjoyed and have a good evening! (if anybody knows how to add an image to a work on ao3 i will love you forever)


End file.
